by Jeanne Gehret
by Jeanne Gehret
As we approach Valentine’s Day, I realize what an intricate dance Victorian courtship was for Daniel Anthony and Annie Osborn. Among the upper classes that Annie frequented, it took considerable skill to navigate these social rituals–especially when chaperones kept an eye on courting couples as they chatted. This three-way chair at St. Augustine’s Lightner Museum reflects the customs of the day.
Daniel Anthony, in Secrets to the Wind, makes no secret of how much he dislikes this custom. He laments to his sister Susan B. Anthony:
“I forgot how stuffy this town is,” he said. “Chaperones everywhere. Did you see that courting chair in the lobby? How can you ever get to know a woman with a chaperone listening to every word?”
Susan nodded. “I’m surprised that you, the perennial bachelor, would seek a wife. Do you think she’ll have you”– she looked at him archly– “even with the Anthony nose?”
He laughed, as she had intended. “Maybe I better look for a nearsighted woman,” he said.
Insights on Victorian courtship from Professor Hill’s Guide to Love and Marriage
During my museum visit, I found a captivating book that just had to come home with me. One passage cautioned about either party leading the other on:
Any gentleman who may continuously give special, undivided attention to a certain lady is presumed to do so because he prefers her to others. It is reasonable to suppose that others will observe his action. It is also reasonable to be expected that the lady will herself appreciate the fact, and her feelings are likely to become engaged.
Should she allow an intimacy thus to ripen upon the part of the gentleman, and to continue, it is to be expected that he will be encouraged to hope for her hand; and hence it is the duty of both lady and gentleman, if neither intends marriage, to discourage an undue intimacy which may ripen into love, as it is in the highest degree dishonorable to trifle with the affections of another.”
p. 109, The Essential Handbook of Victorian Etiquette, by Professor Thomas E. Hill.
Long-distance relationships and bitter realities
Knowing this custom, one can easily imagine how secure Daniel Anthony must have felt after exchanging romantic letters with Annie. And after traveling 1,500 miles to ask for her hand, how troubled to find Annie’s parents cautious and her own heart uncertain. Only a heartfelt demonstration of his love and the most cunning response to barriers could win her heart.
If you want to enjoy a few moments of beautiful romance, have a look at my book trailer for Secrets. I don’t know which I love more–the image of his face or the waltz.
Have no fear, dear reader, love triumphs in the end and they live happily ever after… at least until the honeymoon is over!
And that brings me to my big news! Watch upcoming issues of this newsletter because…
Announcements
I’m so excited to say that Book Two is at the editor! We’ll discuss the title next time.
If you live near Rochester, NY or Adams, MA or Leavenworth, KS, be sure to check this link to very special performances in February and March. I’ve finally finished my costume and mastered the Gibson Girl hairstyle, so I’m ready!
Oh, and recently I earned a semifinalist ribbon from the Chanticleer International Book Awards for Secrets to the Wind. I’m all smiles! You can still get it on Amazon, but now it’s also available to libraries and bookstores through Ingram.
Book lists just for you:
My amaryllis grew all the way from a bulb to this beautiful flower in only one month! Maybe it won’t need the support.
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